How to deal with anxiety (the stoic way)

Disclaimer

I have been digging more into stoicism and the more I dig in, the more I realize that this 2000+-year-old philosophy makes so much sense in today's world especially the subjects that it covers how to deal with anxiety.

I have read some books and the lessons have changed the way I see the world drastically, felt like I should share some lessons with you folks since the issue we all face is very common and yet the solutions are sometimes foreign to most.

A paradigm shift I hope you'll experience after reading this cute little blog and making your life better a bit.

I'm gonna share the ideas and lessons I learnt from the following books

1. Breakfast with Seneca
2. 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
3. Daily Stoic
4. The Subtle art of not giving a fuck
5. The Science of self-discipline

Introduction

We all know how fucked it has become when so many people are anxious about the future, the worrying and the chase for likes or follows and engagements, thanks to the never-ending information consumption on social media platforms. A great tool which is misused even greatly. We as individuals need to know the tools and ideas that are simple and effective to follow. If simple ideas can save us from developing mental health issues, why shouldn't we take a minute or two to learn about them!?

That's where the trouble begins...

What is anxiety? In simple words, it's worrying about the future. Basically something that has not happened yet, and might or might not happen at all, and yet we do it. I personally believe it's a survival mechanism that leads us to think the worse shit that can go wrong so we can handle it. Though, shit gets real when we overdo it.

In stoicism, we can consider our ability to see the future as a gift named Foresight. This gift let's us imagine how things can be and help us work on it to achieve it. Think of it as a guiding light. The problem is, we misuse the shit outta this gift by imagining the shittiest nightmares that can never happen.

The Solution

1. Live in the present

you can only be anxious about the future if you view the present moment as being unfulfilling. — Seneca (a stoic philosopher)

The idea is older than each person reading this blog (unless you are 2000+ years old), and YET PEOPLE DON'T LIVE IN THE PRESENT MOST OF THE TIME. We often worry about the future when we don't have important shit to focus on in the present.

You need to make your present better! Pick up something challenging or make something challenging by following the 10x rule. Whatever floats your boat! But it good enough you don't get distracted from the present moment.

We have limited time in this wold, and yet we waste it on things that don't matter.

We need to live in the present! That's the most expensive gift that we waste and not care much about until it's too late. We live in the past, thinking about how things could have been even though we can't say for sure how it could have turned out with time. We live in the future worrying about the shit that hasn't even happened yet!

Present is all we have, and focusing on the shit in front of us matters more thant what was in the past or what we are imagining in the future. Yes, our gift of foresight helps us imagine some cool shit that can turn to great work but we use it in the worst way possible, by letting the negativity take the drivers seat and drive.

2. Focusing on what we have control over

Control is an illusion, but sometimes we need an illusion to take back control. — Mr. Robot (cool af tv show)

I have read this lesson in 3 different periods across 5 years my college life. It changed the way I think. It's understanding what we have in control.

We can divide the issues we have into three categories:

1. Direct Control
2. Indirect Control
3. No Control

Direct Control

We can take direct action over the situation to solve the issue.

Example:

We can think of losing weight as a direct control issue. We have a direct control over the problem. If we want to solve it, we'll exercise and control our diet having high fat, high protein, and low carbs, and change our lifestyle into an active one that'll help us in losing the weight, achieving our goal.

Indirect Control

This kinda issue isn't solvable directly but our actions on direct control issues might or might not help in solving indirect control issues.

Example:

We can get bullied for being a fat, and have no control over how people perceive us, but we have control over the weight so we do the thing, and when we lose weight, our body starts taking shape, and we start looking better. With time, people start paying attention towards us and respecting us more than how that used to treat us when we were fat. And we would gain confidence in ourselves too since we have the validation within ourselves on how far we have come.

No Control Issue

We have absolutely no control over the resolution of the issue

Example:

A guy is fat af and he has a crush on someone, the guy asks her out and then gets rejected right away. The guy thinks it might be his looks as the root cause for the rejection. Since then, he exercises and eats well, goes to sleep on time, learns how to dress nicely, buys new clothes and improves his grooming skills and what not.

Even though the guy did it all, he would still get rejected since he has no control over the girl's emotional availability, her preferences and her way of seeing the world. Maybe the girl is gay. Who knows.

Lesson

Focus on the things you have control over, the issues we have control over are very limited, and will help us grow tremendously if we focus on just them instead of fixating on what we don't have control over. Understanding the difference is everything.

TL;DR

Live in the present, take a chill pill, relax and don't let the negativity control your mind. Focus on things you have control over.

Personal Application

I have faced several bad shit myself, thanks to anxiety and overthinking about what might happen, and have wasted more times I can imagine. The lessons above helped me in dealing with my own personal struggles, keeping in mind another bonus lesson I learned in a book "The Subtle art of not giving a fuck".

Ask yourself this question whenever feeling anxious about something, will it matter after 10 years? Or say you are at your deathbed, will the things that are stressing you right now will matter then?

Usually that stuff we stress the most about are the no control issues, and I have learnt that focusing on the stuff that we have in control helps me staying in present and makes me feel better about the fact that i'm doing my best.

Hope the lessons and ideas I shared might help you all. Cheers! 🍻